There are times, although I may not be willing to admit it that dealing with being adopted is more difficult than others. Sometimes something may trigger the negative emotions I sometimes experience and honestly I may have no idea why the plug has been pulled on the stockpile of emotions. This is actually something I’ve been trying to work on- recognizing my triggers and becoming more aware of them so as to avoid the mega meltdown.
Throughout my life I used to always wonder why I really didn’t like or didn’t enjoy my birthday or holidays as much as other people. I finally realized that the reason I wasn’t enjoying these things was because this type of event brought about the emptiness and sadness that I can feel knowing that during these important times I cannot be with my biological family. It is almost as if there is just this gaping hole in my heart during these supposed to be happy times. This is something that I have tried to work through so many times, but it still remains slightly difficult. My birthday is coming up on Friday and I have to admit, I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. I think that it’s because really deep down all I really want for my birthday is to meet my family, specifically my brother. But, it seems for the meantime that that is not going to happen so here I am to vent about it and hopefully let someone out there know that they are not alone if they’re feeling like this.
This is such a great question and I am always so happy to see people actually taking the time to find out the answer to this question rather than just assuming the answer. To be honest, I am not sure if what I have to say is all that helpful, but I’ll offer my thoughts anyways J This type of situation totally depends on the individual. There really is no definitive answer when it comes to discussing one’s feelings about adoption because each person is so different. For example, when I was younger I did not want anyone knowing I was adopted- it made me feel really uncomfortable and I chose to not even think about it myself. As a child I did not like feeling like I was different. My sister however, has always been really proud of being adopted and always claimed that as part of who she is; she never had any problems talking about it. A child’s experience through the lifelong journey of being adopted is a process as unique to the child and should be handled sensitively. If you’re not sure where to start, I would just gently bring up the topic to the child and see how they respond. From there, you should be able to gauge how the child feels about their unique situation. Also, the way this should be handled is dependent upon whether or not the child is aware that they are adopted as this could totally change their emotions and therefore their reaction. But I think that you are starting in a great place if you are trying to go about this in the gentlest way possible. But with this I would just like to say that yes it is the child’s right to talk about it if they choose to- not anyone else’s. I think as long as you are respectful of the child’s right and sensitive towards the topic then you should be okay. Hope this helps at least a little bit!