There are times, although I may not be willing to admit it that dealing with being adopted is more difficult than others. Sometimes something may trigger the negative emotions I sometimes experience and honestly I may have no idea why the plug has been pulled on the stockpile of emotions. This is actually something I’ve been trying to work on- recognizing my triggers and becoming more aware of them so as to avoid the mega meltdown.
Throughout my life I used to always wonder why I really didn’t like or didn’t enjoy my birthday or holidays as much as other people. I finally realized that the reason I wasn’t enjoying these things was because this type of event brought about the emptiness and sadness that I can feel knowing that during these important times I cannot be with my biological family. It is almost as if there is just this gaping hole in my heart during these supposed to be happy times. This is something that I have tried to work through so many times, but it still remains slightly difficult. My birthday is coming up on Friday and I have to admit, I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. I think that it’s because really deep down all I really want for my birthday is to meet my family, specifically my brother. But, it seems for the meantime that that is not going to happen so here I am to vent about it and hopefully let someone out there know that they are not alone if they’re feeling like this.